Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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