Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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