drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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