seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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