"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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