when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize