since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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