You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize