At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All I want is dick and wine.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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