Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize