he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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