Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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