I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize