I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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