i think my mom watched the whole time
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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