Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize