The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize