Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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