Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
third nipple confirmed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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