i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's like iHOP with fire
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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