My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Randomize