My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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