dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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