There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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