go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize