Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize