he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
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You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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