Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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