Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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