no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize