imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize