I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize