I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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