ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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