I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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