Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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