and she was petting her beer can
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
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he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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