Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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