Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize