**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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