You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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