and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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