saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize