I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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