Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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