I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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