I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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