You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize