real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize