You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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